I can't stand...

Honey I know I shouldn't be like that but I really can't stand. It becomes harder and harder. I thought I could get over it. But it's not true. I tried to act like I'm very strong and I get over it in front of everybody. But after that, when I'm alone in my room, when I face the true that I lost you, I even feel worse. Without you I can't do anything because of my weak heart. I keep thinking, I keep searching you. Until now, I still don't understand why God took you back. Why did he separate us? Did I do something wrong that I have to swallow this pain? If death is the punishment, I'll receive it all. I'd rather die than lose you. How can I forget you? How can I erase you even it's so painful? I don't have the confidence to live without you. Even if I cry thousand times, I still just want to be with you. Because I love you. I want to scream loudly in front of God that I love you.
I'm afraid someday I can't even see you in my dream. I can't even feel you by my side anymore. But many people said that I should let you go to the next life. I can't drag you here. I'll let you go honey. But the memories of you will always be in my heart. Can you wait for me in the next life? We'll be together again. I'll search for you. I yearn!
Millio puszi!!!